Thanksgiving 2012-A Day of Reflection

Maybe this post would be better suited for New Year’s but when I think back on the last year, there is so much I’m thankful for.

First and foremost, my friends and family, without whom life would be lonely and sad.

Robert, who fits into the above category but gets extra thanks for being virtually by my  side through the good and the bad.

Abby, who has grown into a kind young woman and is the center of my world.

This year had been the hardest one I can remember.  In Job-like fashion I’ve been hit with a lot, things that have at some points crippled me emotionally. In the end, it all worked out. There was medical diagnosis in the family that pulled the rug out from under me for a while, a long while. But thousands of dollars of out-of-pocket medical bills later, we’re told it’s not as bad as it could be, and for that I am utterly thankful. No guarantee that couldn’t change but for now, for this year, I  have a semblance of peace again. Robert was there through all of it, virtually holding my hand and telling me it’s okay, we’d get through it together, as a family.

This has also been the best year I’ve ever had. I’ve sold six new short stories, and put a bunch of old ones up on Kindle. My mystery novel was published in November and is getting good reviews. I went back to school for Accounting to get my degree. I signed up as a literacy volunteer and was assigned a wonderful person who I’m glad I got to know. Being in the program and meeting him reminded me how truly small the world is, and how in many ways we’re all connected. I’ve also started the long uphill battle of knocking down my mountain of debt, one dollar at a time.  For those things and my newfound motivation,  I’m thankful.

I am thankful for my strength this year. I’ve always been pretty emotionally strong but this year that was tested, repeatedly. I had to walk away from some unhealthy friendships. And in turn, some people walked away from me as well. It was sad  on all counts. I look back at a year ago and who  I hung around with and who filled my days. Many of them are gone.

I’ve gotten meaner this year. Not all out bitter but my threshold for BS is very low. I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I should have been more assertive all along. I never would have gotten myself into that second marriage  or the subsequent missteps afterward. I’m sure some people don’t find my new assertion pleasant all. I can come across as a jerk, I know. I’m working on a happy medium. For the people still in my life who have been there all along and who have tolerated me, thanks.

I’m thankful for the quiet in my life. Because of the friend purge last winter, the fact my boyfriend lives far away, and one of my best friends moved to California, it’s pretty lonely here. Abby is around and I’m grateful for her but she’s a teen and has friends and activities. For the first time in more than twenty years I’m alone a lot of the time. It took some getting used to but it’s actually pretty nice. I suppose the alone time is responsible for the increase in writing. I can make up friends and activities and keep myself very busy and entertained without ever getting off the couch.

Finally, I’m thankful for all my pets. I’m never truly alone because someone is always vying for a spot on my lap.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!


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